The stage here is very high indeed - anyone planning a fan invasion will need rope and crampons. It sits imperiously above the stalls like an Aztec temple. Appropriately enough, as three and a half thousand Scots scream their approbation, ready to sacrifice themselves to the metal gods.…

This line-up’s spiritual home is Club Left, an evening of “cool bop and swing” that runs at the Whisky-a-Go-Go in London’s Soho. I’ve read about Club Left in the NME. It appears to revolve around wearing dickie bows and listening to old Bobby Darin records.…

The Dutch appear to have a similar relationship with mayonnaise to that which we Sheffield folk have with Henderson’s Relish - slathering it indiscriminately and unsparingly on all types of food.…

However, with The Human League having played two nights in the ramshackle room last November, ABC eyeing a City Hall date later in the year, Def Leppard in the studio recording a new album and Living In A Box yet to be invented, it falls to Cabaret Voltaire to get the party started, again.…

This suits the Sheffield crowd - out to strike a pose at the Poly or for a bit of a bop on a Sunday night - most of whom think that merengue is something you put on lemon pie.…

Mal likes the herky-jerky, het-up racket we make, and offers to help out on vocals. Nothing permanent, more like a footballer going out on loan because he wants more game-time, even if it means dropping down a division.…