A drab, grey plastic mould chair, scuffed black metal legs akimbo, spins through the air above the ready-rubbed tobacco floor - an unhinged Apollo lunar lander in search of its own Sea Of Tranquillity. Its…

Vinner throws the best parties. Like a junior Jay Gatsby, he holds court at his parents’ lofty Victorian house in Burngreave. We’re a largely well brought up, well behaved bunch. No-one takes drugs, but…

“Wilma, what’s this song called?” “Spanish Stroll.” “So why are you singing it in French?” “I don’t understand what he’s saying in Spanish, summat about rose eater, take care oh.” “What are…

There are two yellow balls in the sky. The first one is the sun, eternal, implacable, blazing down on this gorgeous July afternoon. The second sphere is small, soft and scuffed, earthbound on a parabolic…

Tickets bought 7th January. BBC ‘Sight & Sound In Concert’ watched on telly and taped off the radio 4th February. New album – ‘Drastic Plastic’ – bought 11th February. I’m ready for this. Be Bop Deluxe…

We have to get signed in. There are five of us: Wilma, Vinner, Lango, Timbo and me. I’ve just turned 17, and this is my band. Or rather it’s the band that I…